Choosing a best man is a rite of passage for any groom and one of the most important decisions he will ever make. As the bride is often responsible for the smaller details and may be the one who chooses where to hold the reception and even the food served, the groom must choose his best man and any ushers or other attendants used in the wedding party. Most men choose someone they had a close friendship with over the years or a relative like a brother. If you think that your only duty as a best man is the bachelor party, it’s time to learn about your best man duties and find out what the bride and groom will actually expect of you.

Be His Best Friend or Bro

While the bachelor party is fairly important, you’ll need to handle other duties long before that party actually happens. You must be your guy’s best friend or best bro. You’re the one he will turn to when he begins having doubts or worries about his future. It’s your responsibility to listen to him and give some feedback, but you should avoid making jokes about ditching the bride at the alter and heading to Vegas. He’ll remember all the advice you did or did not give him later.

Help With Clothing

You guys have to match on the big day.  Help him by looking at suits online or in a magazine.  Locate and drive with him to the tailor.  Coordinate with the grooms men, to ensure that everyone has their suit on time and is looking their best.

Keep Him in Check at the Bachelor Party

There is a fine line between what is and isn’t appropriate at the bachelor party, and it’s your job to make sure he doesn’t step over the line. Choose a venue and location that he’ll love but one that is affordable for all guests. If he has a little too much to drink, be the responsible one and make sure that he gets home on time. You may even want to let his fiance know when you will drop him off.

Be His Valet And Butler

If you’re unable to afford a valet and assuming he doesn’t have a butler, it becomes your duty. This means that you need to have everything he might need on hand before the ceremony and during the reception. Let’s face it, a lot of guys don’t put these things at the top of their priority list.  Pack a bag with a small sewing kit, a hairbrush, an extra pair of socks, breath mints and bottled water. This little bag provides him with almost everything he might need before and after he exchanges his vows.

Keep an Eye on the Groomsmen

Your friend chose you because he thought you were the best person for the job. Keeping an eye on the other groomsmen and watching for any potential problems will show him that he made the right choice. Ushers and groomsmen sometimes think they don’t have much to do, which leads to them acting out and behaving in unusual ways. While it’s fine to run around like a monkey in a suit on some days, your best friend’s wedding is not one of those days.  Have fun, but don’t let things get out of hand.  The bride would not be happy about any fights or arrests prior to (or after, for that matter) the wedding.

Hold On To That Ring

Whatever you do, don’t lose the ring.  You’ll be standing next to the groom during the ceremony. Make sure you have the ring in a safe place.  Check your pockets for holes, and don’t forget which pocket you might be using for the ring.  When it’s time to whip it out, you don’t want to be fumbling around.

Help During and After the Reception

There are a number of things you can do during and after the reception. Chat with the couples’ parents, dance with the bridesmaids and mother of the bride and keep an eye out for any problem guests. You may also be responsible for gathering any cards or gifts given to the couple and with driving them back home or to the airport later. When you know what others expect of you and the duties associated with your role in the wedding, you really can be your best friend’s best man on his wedding day.

Give The First Toast
This is your biggest duty.  Think about what you want to say beforehand.  There is nothing wrong with writing out your speech.  Just remember the cardinal rule, and leave the bachelor party story out of it.

Be A Valet, Again!

If the newlyweds need a ride to the hotel or airport after the ceremony, you’ll need to stay sober throughout the reception. Of course, it’s very possible that the groom will insist you drink and celebrate.  If that is the case, hire a limo to drive the couple into the sunset.  And if that last ride is happening in a more traditional manner, decorate that getaway car!

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